Biography: Graduation Postponed

"Graduation Ceremonies. The ceremonies are postponed....." This was what I read in an email from the OU Interim President, Joseph Harroz, and a tiny tear slowly went down the side of my face. I was not going to have a graduation. Sadness filled my heart as I prayed, yelled for my parents to tell them the news, phone called my big sister, and started texting my friends. It was ironic because one of my Portfolio stories talked about graduation. It mimicked how I felt towards graduation as it said, "The constant long nights of studying, the thirty-plus pages of lab reports, and the anxiety-filled time during test preparation always seemed worth it, as long as they were able to enter the Maturing Forest for their own graduation." I felt that as long as I got to cross that stage, all my hard work would feel validated. However, my reality was that I was not actually going to have a physical graduation.

It sucked. 

There was really no other way to describe the situation. I found it very important to acknowledge how I felt about the entire situation. However, this was different than dwelling in the feeling. I had to acknowledge that I was sad and the situation sucked, because my feeling are valid. However, I did not dwell in it too long or else I could find myself in a bad place.

More so, there were definitely bigger concerns around the world that I began to be thankful for what I did have. I also began to look at my situation with a new perspective. I am stuck at home with my parents for a couple of weeks. I used to say, "I peaked in high school." While since I have said this, I have found college to be another great peak, I realized this was a time for me to live my life in a way like I was in high school. I realized what I enjoyed about high school and they were: (1) Spending time with my family; (2) Playing the piano; (3) Dancing ballet. Therefore, I thought it would be great time in my life to implement these three activities in order to feel like I have "peaked" again. 

Overall, graduation was postponed. As a senior, this was hard to hear. However, in a time where we cannot control much in this world pandemic, we can control our attitude. 

Oh, how I miss campus! 

(The above image is of the building I spent most of my senior year at.)

Author's Note:

In my biography story, I wanted to describe an event in my life when I expected things to go one way, but instead they went in a very different way as I expected. I wrote it in past tense because I wanted to show reflection on the situation as I have learned valuable lessons. I wrote it in first person because I wanted to acknowledge my feelings through the process. I wrote this story because I found that there were many lessons to it and it is a good reminder for my readers, including me in the future, that we can only focus on what we can control, and that is our attitude on any situation - even situations where unexpected events happen. 

Biography: The Sweet Smell of Car Exhaust

Ahh, the strong smell of the gasoline exhaust of a car. Most may think that it is a disgusting smell that could trigger coughing. However, when I smell it, while I do think about the negative affect of the exhaust on our planet, I cannot help but think of home.

As I was walking out of my last final of Fall 2019, there was a car revving their engine. Out released a the scent of gas exhaust. As weird as it sounds, smelling this weird smell made me smile. Anytime my sister or I would smell the sweet smell car exhaust, we would always look at each other and say "Smells like the Philippines." While the Philippines has its own concerns regarding pollution, that is besides the point.

This happened a few days before I was to depart for vacation in the Philippines. Leading up to my departure, I had constant doubts for a few months about even wanting to go to the Philippines. I had not been there in such a long time (about 10 years) that I was nervous and was afraid my family there would make fun of me for whatever reason. I also was worried about not feeling like I belonged when I was with my family. However, when I smelled the gasoline exhaust from the passing car, I felt some sort of peace. It was like God was telling me that it was going to be okay - that seeing my family would be okay.

Shown in the image above are tricycles. This is a very common of transportation in the provinces of the Philippines. This is a cheap way for people to get from point A to B without walking. It is also provides a job for many. Depending on the provinces and the distance traveled, the cost of a single person to ride a tricycle differs. However, in non-touristy areas the cost to get to the center of the city from the outskirts is about 20 pesos ($0.40). There are many tricycles across the country which results in a smell of gas exhaust that you realize as walk around town. Therefore, this smell lead to the biography above. 

Author's Note:
Wow. Through writing this biography, I just realized a little bit more about myself and my feelings. I did not realize what the real reason I was afraid to go back to the Philippines until I just let myself write. Wow. I should write to myself more.
On another note, I have written a lot about the my birth country in this class. I just want to share some wonderful experiences I had there with the readers just so they have opportunity to learn about new place. In this biography I wanted to write a story prompted by a vivid memory of a smell. I wrote in the first person because I really dived into my feelings. I hope to read this in the future and smile.

Extra Credit Biography: A Christmas to Remember

Tall trees are hitting against each other so hard that it seems like they are fighting. Rain pellets are banging against the windows. The wind is howling as it weaves around the house. We are in the middle of a Signal #2 typhoon. At the house, my lola (meaning grandma), two aunts (named Nene and Mabelle), mommy, daddy, sister, 15 year-old cousin (name Miguel), and two year old niece (named Andrea) are preparing for Christmas Mass. This is my first time being in a typhoon. I am so confused at why no one was freaking out. However, I just go along with the flow. With our makeup done, we begin taking family pictures. This is a Christmas for me to remember because it is my first Christmas spending it with my relatives that I can ACTUALLY remember. Living in the U.S. has brought me so many blessings; however, when holidays roll around everyone seems to be having big, family dinners with their grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc., I always felt a little bit of sadness. As we are taking family photos of all different poses, I realize I forgot about the typhoon encircling us. Family is everything. They are ones who will stick by us through the sunshiny days and the typhoon, rainy days. I love my family!

(Personal image of my family on Christmas 2019)

Front Row: Andrea, Nene, Lola, Mabelle, Miguel

Back Row: Mommy, Sister, Me, Daddy

Note:

In this biography story, I wanted to showcase the importance of family. Growing up, I had lots of friends who had grandparents, aunts, or cousins who lived across the street from them. However, about 90% of my relatives live outside of the country. While I absolutely love my immediate family, sometimes I wish I also had my relatives to spend important moments with. More so, I wrote the story in present tense because I wanted the reader to feel my same emotions, especially being in a typhoon for the first time.

Biography: My Favorite Vacation Memory

This is my first time back in the Philippines in about 10 years. Back in the province, life is very simple. I wake up around 5 a.m. (which is very different than my typical vacation wake=up time of 3 p.m.) and sleep around 9 p.m. I enjoy this type of lifestyle. Similar to every night, I go about my usual sleep routine. I sleep next to my lola (which means grandma) on the bed and my niece, aunt, and cousin sleep on the floor in the same room. My relatives are so kind that they would make sure that my immediate family and I got the beds. One night I suddenly felt my lola move. My lola is the stillest sleeper I know so I would be conscious of her movement so I can check up on her. As I am waking up I hear awful scream crying. I noticed that my 86 year-old lola is reaching for my 2 year-old niece who is wailing. My lola has 9 kids so I can see how alert she with taking care of babies. However, my lola has REALLY bad hearing. Her eardrums are almost completely broken, so I wondered how she heard Andrea (my niece). It is either God woke my lola up or I am a really deep sleeper. At this point, I am trying to grab my glasses. My eyesight is 800/10. That means my eyes are so bad that I am not part of of the 20 in "20/20" scale. What people with 20/20 vision can see in 10 800 feet, I can see in 10 feet. However, I could not find my glasses! I did not have time looking for them! I carry Andrea and I start to rock her. I look for my aunt and I could not find her. I look for my other aunt, but her location was unknown as well. I look for my sister. Of course, I could not find her either. Andrea is pointing at the kitchen. So I'm like oh she wants milk!! But she doesn't want milk after I gave her milk. She keeps saying "nameg." That is not a word in Tagalog, so I am very confused on what she means. She reaches for the freezer and tries to open it. I open the freezer door and she grabs a water-bottle from the freezer. She GULPS it down. I have never seen a 2-year-old chug water. Turns out she was meaning to say "lamig" which means cold, instead of "nameg." At this point. I. Still. Cannot. See. Clearly. I get closer to my lola who is trying fix up the house. I get as close to a clock as I can and see that it is 2 a.m. and I am so confused at where my family is. My lola is trying to turn on the electric fans, because we live in the province and most rooms do not have air-conditioning. Andrea is sweating so I can see why my lola was doing this. However, my lola did not have her cane. Then my lola pulls out the electric fan a little far where the cord is not resting on the floor. So at this point I'm thinking, "There is NO way I am going to have two year-old wailing and have my 86-year-old grandma trip over this cord while I cannot see clearly and I cannot find my family." So I  push back the electric fan and run, while carrying the toddler in my arms, and find my lola's cane. I gave it to my lola and told her to use it. FINALLY. Everyone is settled. My lola has her cane and stopped fixing the house at 2 a.m. and my niece stopped crying and chugging water. I bring them back to the room and lay my niece in the middle of me and my lola to prepare for bed again. All is well in the province.

Philippines (Image Source)

Note:
I used first-person in this story because I wanted to walk my audience through my experience. I wanted them to know my thoughts. I wanted them to feel the uncertainty that I felt as I experienced this memory. I also wanted to use present tense for this reason, because I wanted the audience to feel that worry I felt. I tried to tell a story that was fun and light-hearted looking back at it know, even if it was stressful during the moment. I feel like there are many moments like this in life - but if we look back at it with a good attitude, it can become some of our favorite memories.

Biography: Be Brave

Dear Future Me,

As you were going through senior year of college and thinking about what lays ahead, you had a lot of time on your hands. So, you watched a lot of either romantic comedy TV shows or romantic movie trailers. One trailer that caused a flood of thoughts and feelings was "Something Borrowed." We watched this movie a few years back, but for a while now I have forgotten it. Recalling this movie triggered lots of confusion to arise within you but I think I was able to funnel it into a lesson. I wanted to share with you the feelings you had at 21. I wanted you to have the following thoughts you had, and do and grow with it in whatever way you want. Just know it felt good to let these thoughts out and I hope it can encourage you to be brave in any part of your life.

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What Rachel did in the past was what she thought would be best for everyone else. Disregarding her own feelings, she was focused on one question "what was expected from her?" I understand why she did this. She put others before herself. However, the fact that she did not speak her truth, led her to live six years just going through the motions and denying herself the right to feel. I think this is the lesson I want you to learn from. Your thoughts are valid and it speaks the truth that you are feeling. So give yourself the right to feel. I think we have the tendency to put others before self. While that is important and we should keep doing that, don't let it go to the point where you are invalidating your own feelings for the sake of others. Speak your truth. Embrace and understand your own feelings. Speak your words into existence. Try your best to know yourself.

(Cover of the book "Something Borrowed" that turned into a movie adaptation.)

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Be brave, Zhanie. You owe it to yourself to be brave.

With all my love,
xoxo NZMV



Author's Note:
I chose to write this lesson above bravery to my future self because it has been something that I have recently realized I was bad at, so I am currently trying to get better at it. While the mistakes that were made was not that of my own and rather was of a movie that I watched, I think that the lesson that I learned is what really counts. The act of me watching the movie happened in my life and it is me recalling one of my favorite movies so that is how I believe it is a biography.. Furthermore, there is a tendency that we just let art pass us by. However, there are sometimes truly great lessons to be learned through them but we don't intact these lessons in our brain. In this Story Lab, I wanted to combine my act of watching the movie, the characters' actions in the movie, and my lesson learned. I also wanted to write it in the form of a letter addressed to my future self, so that I can encourage myself to be brave.